Ever since I have come back from Greece there has been something new and different about me, I can't quite put my finger on it, people who know me well can't see it, but people who don't do. Went to a huge party at the weekend and people were commenting on how different I was.
Tonight daughter and I had one of those late night "chats", where she was totally honest with me about some of the more intricate parts of our relationship. She said a lot that hurt me, and we both acknowledged this. She also said something very interesting and something that I have only recently (unconsciously) recognised. She told me that I separate the different parts of myself so that there is a "professional Rae" a "party Rae" a "respectable Rae" a "mother Rae" a "sporty Rae" etc etc and that she couldn't understand why I didn't understand that Rae was great and there was no need for the division. I am am aghast on 2 levels, firstly because BDFH can be so frelling spot on and can know (for ages) something I am only just beginning to recognise and secondly how much I appreciate, love and respect that she feels able to talk to me so honestly. This was not the only thing we talked about tonight, she really let me have it - where she thought I had gone wrong, and how and too too much to retell. The upside is that I should be feeling like a big piece of poo and I am not, I am just totally respecting the fact that she feels OK talking to me like this.
This, coupled with the Scott experience and I really can feel those cogs moving on.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Wow you have been going through it. I feel change is inevitable and at some point in our lives we all re-evaluate who we are, and maybe become more in touch with ourselves. Its also very interesting how other people perceive us often in a completely different way to how we perceive ourselves. You are still my beautiful friend Rachel to me.
Post a Comment